Addicts
by The Tomo
Summary: Jounouchi is addicted to Seto, while Seto is addicted to drugs. How will the two get along, and what will become of their relationship?
1. I'm Not an Addict

Addicts

Disclaimer: I do not, in anyway, own YGO or any of the songs used in this fic. All lyrics are thanks to Yes, this is a song fic. Each chapter is a different song to lay out the story. I thought it would be fun, so just give it a chance.

Note: This fic is a sequel to a fic I will be writing after this. I have the basic plot idea, but I thought I would do the sequel first, just because.

Chapter 01

I'm Not and Addict

Seto had just returned home from a rather ugly date. He stepped into his silent home, getting out of the freezing rain. He folded up his umbrella and tossed it into a can by the door, which held other brightly colored umbrellas. He removed his wet coat from his body. He cringed a little from the feeling of having to peel it off him as though he was an orange. He was too distracted by his thoughts to properly put the coat away. He tossed it by the umbrella can, and walked towards his bedroom.

Thoughts of his date with Jou were clouding his mind. The two went out to dinner, only to make a public scene. Seto was used to the old Jou yelling at him, but he wasn't used to the puppy screaming at him with nothing but anger and worry in his heart. It made Seto cringe just thinking about it.

Jou had every right to yell at him, though.

It was the fifth fight over the same nonsense.

'_Breathe it in and breathe it out'_

Seto placed a freshly rolled joint between his dry, cracked lips. He ignited a lighter, watched the tiny flame dance provocatively at him for a few seconds, then lit up. He inhaled sharply and held it in; counting each second in which he allowed the harsh smoke soak into his lungs. He exhaled as a small tear snuck down his face.

Not even an hour ago, he fought with Jou over drug use. Jou screamed such awful things at him, and punched him in the face. The sting of that punch was still there, but not for long. Jou begged, pleaded, demanded even that Seto quit any and every drug he began to use in the last two months.

He knew that he really should quit his drug uses, but it was difficult. He didn't want to, but at the very same time he did. He wanted to give it up just for Jou. He felt a couple more tears fall down his face as he took another drag of his joint. He continued to smoke, watching it burn closer and closer to his fingertips with each hit.

"Are you crying?" Came a sinister voice which both excited and unsettled the brunette.

'_And pass it on, it's almost out'_

Seto handed the joint over to Bakura, which he gladly accepted. "No," came Seto's reply as he watched Bakura take a hit. He wiped his face and smiled to the psychotic man.

"So, just trying to get a cheap high?" Bakura asked.

"Say what you will, but a simple weed high is pretty nice. You should enjoy it sometimes," Seto said in an uplifted tone.

"Yeah, I did that. Two years ago," Bakura scoffed in reply. "I'm not into cheap thrills anymore. I'm _classy _now," he said with a daring smirk as he tossed something to Seto.

Seto watched the object land into his lap. "Again?" He asked as he picked up the syringe.

"Not this very second. Let's smoke a little more first," Bakura said as he came and sat down on the bed next to Seto. He pulled out a small baggie from his pocket and handed it to the brunette. "It's not shake," he informed as he dug into another of his pockets to pull out a pipe, "so you'll have to load a bowl.

Seto looked down at the bag of marijuana and sighed.

'_We're so creative, so much more'_

Seto's previous mindset had soon vanished. He sat on the ground with Bakura, their backs up against the bed. Seto looked to Bakura and smiled at him.

'_We're high above but on the floor'_

"So how does your boyfriend feel about all of this?" Bakura asked after ten minutes of silence.

Seto was silent for a while. He didn't want these thoughts of grief to return to him while he felt so good. "He… Yelled at me about it at a restaurant," he finally replied.

"Why?" Inquired the nosy boy.

"It's not socially acceptable. Drugs are seen as a bad thing here, Bakura. To the point in which they are illegal."

Bakura scoffed. "I _know _they're illegal."

"But you don't understand how other people react to someone they care about doing drugs," Seto told him with a sadness in his eyes.

"Tch. Don't let other people tell you what you should or shouldn't do. It's your body. How do _you _feel when you do them?"

Seto sat in silence, thinking about the question.

'_It's not a habit, it's cool, I feel alive'_

"Good… I feel good," Seto said as a smile graced his face. He looked to Bakura, who seemed to be like his silver angel… Or his shining devil.

"Then that's all you need to worry about; feeling good. Fuck all those idiots who want to take that precious feeling away from you," Bakura said in a delicate tone. "They do it because they don't know how to find their own way to feel good... So they want to take it away from you."

Seto blinked a couple times. He didn't want people to take away this feeling. Without it, he felt empty.

'_If you don't have it you're on the other side'_

Seto was out in the kitchen, gathering a few snacks for his and Bakura's rumbling tummies. He closed the cabinet and started to walk back to the bedroom with cradled arms filled with munchies. He walked into the room and dropped them down onto the bed. "There," he said as he stood triumphantly.

Bakura looked through the loot and chose what he wanted to eat. "Don't stand there so proud. All you did was get food."

Seto frowned. "Oh come _on_! You know how unmotivated you are to do anything when you've been smoking."

"Lightweight," snickered Bakura.

"Fuck you," replied the brunette as he grabbed a pastry treat and shoved it in his mouth.

"I keep telling you, Kaiba… I don't fuck men who are involved. Loose the tight little virgin dumb ass, then we'll talk."

Seto glared at the other boy. "Dick."

Bakura waggled a finger back and forth while saying, "ah, ah, ah… If you want to become classier like me, you should watch your tongue." Bakura chuckled and held up one of the two syringes.

"Oh yeah, that's _real_ classy, Bakura," Seto said with a smirk.

'_The deeper you stick it in your vein'_

As Seto pushed down on the plunger of the syringe, he thought of Jou. The blonde's smiling face flashed into his mind. Seto shook his head and continued to push down on the plunger.

'_The deeper the thoughts, there's no more pain'_

Seto and Bakura laid next to each other on the bed. They stared up at the ceiling while talking about any thoughts they had. This proved for interesting conversation for the two of them, but anyone sober listening in would have no idea what was going on.

"Are you still worried about what your boy thinks?" Bakura asked.

Seto thought for a few minutes.

'_I'm in heaven, I'm a god'_

"No."

'_I'm everywhere, I feel so high'_

Seto and Bakura both began to laugh. Over what they weren't sure of. Whatever it was, it was funny. Seto wanted to remember the way he felt this very second forever. He didn't want it to end, and he didn't want Bakura to go away.

'_It's not a habit, it's cool, I feel alive_

_If you don't have it you're on the other side_

_I'm not an addict'_

He couldn't wait until he would be able to spend this kind of time with Bakura again.

'_Maybe that's a lie…'_

Seto laid alone after Bakura left.

'_It's over now, I'm cold, alone'_

He was curled into the fetal position, shivering and crying. He had pulled many blankets up over his body, but still he felt absolutely freezing.

'_I'm just a person on my own'_

He whished to be in the embrace of his dearest Katsuya. He missed the blonde. He missed the smell of his green apple shampoo, the look his unkempt, filthy fingernails… Everything.

Over time, Seto began to calm down, and think less of his puppy. It felt as though his mind was a blank piece of paper. Nothingness began to take him over.

'_Nothing means a thing to me'_

Seto wanted to sleep, but he knew that he wouldn't be able to for a while. He still needed time to calm himself down. He sat up, his blankets slipping down to his waist as he did. He looked over to his nightstand and opened the tiny drawer. He pulled out a joint and lighter. He lit it up, and laid back down watching the ceiling as he smoked.

'_It's not a habit, it's cool, I feel alive_

_If you don't have it you're on the other side_

_I'm not an addict_

_Maybe that's a lie'_

Smoke swirled and danced around Seto's face. He stared up with blank eyes, seeming to be staring off into space. He felt like there was nothing inside of him. No lungs breathing air, no heart pumping blood, just nothing. If he were to shoot himself through the head this very second, he would feel no pain… No remorse.

Nothing mattered to him now. Not even his never admitted love of his live, Jounouchi. He didn't give a damn about anything in his world. He may as well be sleeping outside on the ground, surrounded by nothing but hard cold concrete and he wouldn't lay a single thought on missing his warm and comfortable bed.

Fuck it all.

'_Free me, leave me'_

The ringing of a phone entered Seto's ears. He turned his head to the side and looked at the phone on his nightstand. He picked it up and sat up, looking down at the caller I.D. It was Jounouchi. He sat there and counted how many rings were echoing in his head, debating if he should answer or not.

After the fifth ring, he put out his joint then pressed the connect button and held the phone to his ear. "Hello?" He asked dryly.

"Kaiba?" He heard on the other end.

"Yes," he answered, lying back down. He stared back up at his ceiling with expressionless eyes.

"I-I'm sorry about tonight. I… I shouldn't have yelled at you like that… And in public, no less," Jou said with a sad sounding voice. Seto could almost swear the boy was crying, or that he was earlier.

"I don't really care," came Seto's dull response. "You did what you did. I can't change the past, and you can't take back what you said. What's done is done, c'est la vie, and many other generic phrases," Seto said blandly.

"Are you mad at me?" Jou asked nervously.

"No, I'm not mad. I have no reason to be so. I'm just… Tired," he lied. "Why don't you come over tomorrow, and we can clear our minds and get over these petty arguments we keep having. We can just relax…"

"That sounds really nice, Kaiba," Jou replied in a more bright tone. "I'll come over around three."

"See you then." Seto hung up the phone and placed it back down on the nightstand. He should have felt excited to see his puppy, but he didn't. At the moment, he couldn't care less.

'_Watch me as I'm going down'_

He would give anything for the excitement he once had. He missed the jittery feeling he would get when he would see Jou. He was sometimes tempted to go out and swallow some butterflies just to see he could get the feeling of the phrase 'butterflies in the stomach' back.

'_Free me, see me'_

Sometimes he worried that nothing could bring him back to the way he used to feel. It was as if he was loosing his entire grip on reality. He stopped to wonder if Bakura ever felt like this before. He must have just gotten used to it…

His mind flashed back to the first time Bakura got him to join in with the activities. Bakura had always tried to convince him, but Seto firmly believed he would never need drugs in any situation. He used to be strong. However, since he first laid lips on his first pipe, he became weak.

Look at him now. He flaked off on his duties for work, he got into arguments with his lover all the time, he felt empty, and he had the sneaking suspicion that he was in danger of loosing Jou, forever.

The two had already 'ended' things once. It wasn't over drugs, but over how Seto was treating the pup. It wasn't the happiest thing to happen to Seto, and he didn't want to loose his puppy again.

He felt like he was on the way to loosing everything.

'_Look at me, I'm falling and I'm falling'_

It was hard to give up on drugs. He loved the way they made him feel, but had always hated when he would come down, or the aftermath of his actions.

Some days he felt he felt like shit. He wanted to stop. He felt like all he wanted to do was stop and get rid of the awful habit. Other days he felt that it was perfectly fine for him to take part in it, as if it was a hobby just like many other things, so it should be fine with other people.

'_It is not a habit, it is cool I feel alive I feel_

_It is not a habit, it is cool I feel alive'_

He didn't know what to do.

He felt like he had little shoulder angels telling him what he should do.

'_It's not a habit, it's cool, I feel alive_

_If you don't have it you're on the other side'_

"I should just stop," he told himself.

'_I'm not an addict' _

He thought for a couple minutes and sighed. "This is a conundrum."

'_Maybe that's a lie…'_

(TBC)

Well, there was the first chapter. Give it a chance. I know it may seem weird, and I'm sure some people out there may hate me for making Seto a druggie. Avoids flying objects. Aww, come on… See what happens in the end.

I'm strangely motivated with this story so the next chapter shouldn't take so long unlike YWN, hehehe… To any of you reading that as well, I'm sorry! I'll get on that next chapter! Hehe.

Anyway, the song used in this chapter was:

I'm Not an Addict by K's Choice

Lyrics thanks to you next chapter!


	2. Addicted

Addicts

Disclaimer: I do not own YGO or any of the songs used in this fic.

Note: This fic is a sequel to a fic I will be writing after this. I have the basic plot idea, but I thought I would do the sequel first...

Chapter 02

Addicted

Katsuya sat in his room eating a little snack as he was getting ready to go to Seto's home. He was dubious about how today was going to turn out... Just the day before, Jou had made a public scene by screaming at Seto about him doing drugs. He got so infuriated and upset to the point where he actually punched his boyfriend. His fist still hurt from the impact. He felt that he had justified reasons, however. Jou was never a fan of drug users or alcoholics. He had his father to thank for that. It was to the point where the boy had zero tolerance for it.

The couple had fought over it many times, and Jou kept deciding to be lenient with the CEO. He could always think back to the days where he hated Kaiba. He began to with that Seto began drugs before he ever started to fall for him. That way it would be so much easier on him. He was falling hard for the other boy and didn't want to throw him away at all. If only Kaiba started this stupid shit earlier, Jou never would have thought twice about him.

Jou felt as thought this was a curse. He wanted so badly to get out of a relationship tainted by drugs, but never would want to get rid of his love. IT was as thought Seto was a drug of his own. The more the two would fight about those things, the more Jou felt that way. He was addicted to Seto.

_'It's like you're a drug' _

He felt somewhat masochistic about it. It was as though he was putting himself in a position in which he felt pain and sorrow, but he would give anything to keep it. 'Why can't I just get rid of that damned druggie?' He thought to himself as he grabbed his coat and left his bedroom. He went out to the front door and put his shoes on.

"Dad, I'm leaving!" He called out before exiting his apartment. His eyes immediately began to squint as the midday sun was shinning brightly. 'Summer already,' he thought, 'it's hard to believe everything first started with Kaiba back in winter.' He began to walk as he thought about when he first realized how he really felt for Kaiba; it was just after New Year's. The CEO had used Jou for a sick game. But in the end, everything worked out for the best.

But those memories weren't for now.

Jou followed the sidewalk in a straight path, taking the long way to Seto's house. He wanted to stall since he was terrified that today would end badly.

_'It's like you're a demon I can't face down'_

Jou came up to the gate of Seto's home. He stared down at the driveway leading up to the front door. His attention drifted to a small intercom on the front gate. He looked at the button while chewing on his bottom lip. He lifted his arm and extended his index finger. He stretched his arm out, his finger hovering just before the button.

_'It's like I'm stuck' _

He pulled his hand back and continued to chew on his lip as he stared at that little button which seemed to be mocking him.

_'It's like I'm running from you all the time'_

'No,' he thought to himself, "I can't do this. I just need to leave. I need to stop letting him keep me around if all it does is bring me pain.' Jou sighed and turned to start walking away. He turned his head to glance back at the home of Kaiba for what he thought was the last time. But as he turned back he saw Seto open the door and look out to him.

'Shit.'

_'And I know I let you have all the power'_

Jou found himself sitting at the dinning table in Seto's home, sitting across from the brunette. The two were sipping at freshly brewed cups of tea. Neither of them were saying anything. Jou would give the other boy the occasional glance, but when Seto would make eye contact, he would turn that look into a glare, and then focus back down to his tea.

Jou was inwardly kicking himself for coming inside. He didn't want to be near Seto, but all he wanted was to be in his arms in a loving embrace, telling him his love for him, making love with him throughout the night, and he wanted to fall asleep in his arms. "So," Seto said softly. Jounouchi looked up to his lover, pleased that he wasn't the first one who had to say the first thing. "Did you want to talk at all, or just shoot me nasty looks all afternoon?"

Jou took a sip of his tea as he frantically thought of what he should say. He swallowed the sweet liquid and looked down at the finely polished table. "I'm sorry for causing a scene."

"I know that already. I thought maybe you'd like to talk about what we are going to do about this mess," Seto offered kindly. He didn't want to take any tones with the puppy. He didn't much care for being hit.

"There isn't anything I have to do about this," Jou snapped. "It's all you, Kaiba. It's your problem, you're just trying to drag me into it and I hate that. I can be there for you, I can help, but only if you really want to give up drugs. If you're not, then I won't be here for you at all. I don't have any tolerance for druggies."

"I know, pup. I'm ready to quit; not only for you, but for myself as well."

Jou cringed. He knew Seto all too well. He knew it was a line he was just fed. He had heard it before... Those exact words. He had no faith in those words whatsoever. But it didn't matter. He knew that he was still going to stick by Seto until it ripped his soul apart and it drained from his body. He would find himself broken until he gave up on the boy he loved.

_'It's like the only company I seek is misery all around'_

Katsuya was ready to put himself through hell just so he could be with his lover. It didn't matter to him. He wanted to stay strong and have the power to say 'no' to Seto and just walk away from him. However, he was beginning to understand Seto's predicament. Kaiba Seto was his own drug, and he was deathly addicted.

Both of them were addicts.

"Pup?" Seto asked after Jou was silent for a while.

Jou pulled himself out of his thoughts and looked to Seto. He offered him a fake smile and set his cup of tea down. "I have faith in you," he lied.

Seto seemed to believe this, but the blonde knew his boyfriend was smarter than that. He knew Kaiba could most likely see through his façade; He didn't much care though. Whatever could make the relationship easier, he was willing to try. He just wanted everything to go back to the way it was. In actuality, the two really only had about three months of their relationship that could be classified as 'good'. The beginning was rather rough, the middle was smooth, and now it was hell.

"Puppy, let's just forget about this for now. You seem too analytical at the moment. I can help you take your mind off of everything." Seto stood up and walked up behind Jou. He placed a pale hand on his lover's shoulder. "We can just relax," he said as he began to stroke Katsuya's shoulder tenderly.

Jou knew what was coming up next.

'_It's like you're a leech' _

Katsuya moved bucked his hips up into the air as Seto made his first thrust into Jou's warm entrance. Seto smiled down at his boyfriend with glazed over eyes. It seemed as thought he felt nothing. He couldn't feel the immense pleasure sleeping with his lover once gave him. He felt used up. But he didn't want to let Jou know that. He wanted Jou to see that Seto did enjoy their time together, just not in the same way.

Jou paid no mind to how Seto might be feeling. He let moans and breathy words escape his throat, he did everything the same. But on the inside he was cursing himself for letting Seto control him once more. Jou knew it wasn't intentional on Seto's part, but he still felt bitter about it. If Kaiba asked, Jou would find a way to make the earth stop rotating, and explode the moon. He would do anything Seto asked.

'_Sucking the life from me' _

Though as much as he was hating himself for letting this happen once more, Jou was in bliss. To feel his lover crashing into his body felt amazing. He cried out his lover's name up into the ceiling, writhing in the waves of pleasure. He ran his hands up Seto's sides, up around his shoulders, up his neck, then into his hair. Jou ran his fingers through the hair, and occasionally would grab onto it when he felt the rush of ecstasy run though his body when Seto would thrust into him.

'It's like I can't breathe'

As Jou could feel Seto increasing his amount of thrusts, and their power, he could feel himself trying to gasp for air. He took small and shallow breaths, letting out a few loud moans every once in a while. "Oh, god… Seto…" He moaned forcefully.

'_Without you inside of me'_

Seto took hold of his partner's erection and began to pump in time with his own thrusts. He weakly smiled as he could feel Jou shaking and convulsing in pleasure. He was glad he was the one giving him that feeling.

Jou screamed upward, his holler echoing through the room. The only thing that passed his lips was his lover's name as he came into Seto's hand. He felt the brunette thrust in and out a couple more times before letting out a gruff grunt.

'_And I know I let you have all the power '_

Jou looked up to Seto with tired eyes. He was breathing harshly and sweat was covering his body. Seto looked back down at him with a faint smile. He then pulled himself out of Jou and flopped down onto the bed next to the blonde. He put an arm over his boyfriend's chest and put his mouth near his ear.

"Promise me something, Katsuya."

"What?"

"Stay with me forever."

Jou could feel his whole world go blank. He was surrounded with silence, inside and out. His mouth was agape and his eyes wide. He forced himself to blink and close his mouth. He looked up to Seto and stared at the serious look on his face.

'_And I realize I'm never gonna quit you over time' _

"Okay."

Jou then fell asleep in Seto's arms.

-

'_It's like I can't breathe _

_It's like I can't see anything' _

Jou walked in complete darkness. His tired feet were leading him to places his mind dreaded to go. He tried to focus his vision, or do something to fix his feeling of blindness, but nothing worked. All he could see was that darkness, because that was all that was around him.

He felt like he had been traveling for days. He felt famished and tired, but his body wouldn't allow him any rest. He had a destination, and he didn't even know what it was. He looked around to still see nothing. Somehow it made him more comfortable to be surrounded by darkness. He didn't feel like he had to worry about any real life issues. He could just be himself and not worry about other people.

But it was lonely.

Ahead of him, Jou could see a faint glowing outline. He paused for a second, and then without a second thought he began to run to the outline. He could see it getting closer and closer, and he yearned to reach it. He started to pick up the pace and he was now sprinting. He was desperate.

As he was nearing the glow, he could start to make out the shape. It was tall, taller than him. It seemed to be rather slender, and- he stopped in mid dash, his eyes widening as he realized what was waiting for him.

"What? Not going to come racing into the arms of your lover?"

'_Nothing but you' _

Jou's eyes flew open as he quickly sat up. He was breathing heavily, and cold beads of sweat ran down his neck. He sighed and rubbed his head. He looked over to see Seto still sleeping peacefully. Moonlight lit the bedroom, and a strange scent was drifting in the air. Jou sniffled a couple times and looked over to Seto. 'He wouldn't,' he thought, 'not while I'm right here with him… He wouldn't do that, he loves me.'

Jou tried to lie to himself to keep his sanity.

'_I'm addicted to you'_

Jou laughed a little aloud as he shook his head. 'I must be… simply imagining things. I'm trying to create a problem.'

"Pup?"

Jou looked over to Seto who was opening his eyes and pushing himself up with his elbow. "What are you doing awake?"

Katsuya just stared down at Seto.

'_It's like I can't think _

_Without you interrupting me _

_In my thoughts, in my dreams' _

"I- I had… A bad dream…"

"I see," Seto replied sweetly. He fell back down to the bed on his back and opened up his arms. "Come here. I'll chase those dreams away."

'_You've taken over me'_

"I… I have to go," Jou choked out before leaping out of bed. He grabbed his clothes and quickly dressed himself.

"Katsuya… What's wrong?" Seto asked, sitting up and watching the other boy scramble.

"Nothing! I just have to get out of here!" Jou yelled as he opened the bedroom door and ran out. He raced downstairs and then out of the house.

'_It's like I'm not me' _

Katsuya ran down the sidewalk, lit only by street lamps and the occasional passing car's headlights. He could feel tears building up in his eyes. He didn't want to cry; not over Seto. He ran to the only place that would accept him at this hour.

'_It's like I'm not me' _

Jou found himself in front of the game shop. He gulped before stepping up to the door. He lifted up his fist and began to bang loudly.

After a couple minutes, the door creaked open slowly. There stood a sleepy looking Yuugi in his pajamas, rubbing his left eye. "Jounouchi-kun?" he asked as he yawned.

"Yuugi…" Jou searched his mind for something; anything to say. He drew a complete blank he couldn't form words for what he was feeling. He wasn't even sure of it himself.

'_It's like I'm lost' _

Jou broke down into tears. He fell to his knees and cried painfully at Yuugi's feet. The tiny boy didn't have to hear any words from his friend's mouth. He knew what was wrong. "Jou, come inside," he offered as he put out his hand to help the blonde up.

Katsuya looked up to the hand. He sniffled and slowly took the offer. When he was back on his feet, he followed Yuugi inside.

'_It's like I'm giving up slowly' _

Jou laid in the bed Yuugi had made for him. He looked up at the ceiling, not being able to see much considering the room was pitch black. Jou was somewhat surprised Yuugi didn't have a ridiculous night light shaped like some random duel monster. He tried to chuckle, but it wouldn't come out.

The scent of Seto still drifted around Jou's nostrils. It was the sweet berry in mixture with cigarettes, coffee, and fresh office. Yes, office had a scent, and Jou knew it all too well from when he used to go bug Kaiba at work. The combination sounded rather strange, but it was a scent Jou was rather fond of. It was a good mix; it was chasing him.

Jou could still feel his boyfriend's warm embrace after a night of passion. Seto liked to go a bit hard on the blonde, but afterwards he would shower him with sweet, loving affection.

Everything about Seto was still all around him; he couldn't escape.

'_It's like you're a ghost that's haunting me_

_Leave me alone' _

Jou grabbed the sides of his head in frustration. He squeezed, putting so much pressure on his head. He closed his eyes tightly, tying to hold back more tears that were threatening him. He shook his head, still holding it tightly.

'_And I know these voices in my head are mine alone _

_And I know I'll never change my ways' _

And there he found himself…

'_If I don't give you up now'_

…At Kaiba's front door.

'_It's like I can't breathe _

_It's like I can't see anything'_

Jou pounded on the door, screaming his lover's name. He felt as though he knew the true meaning of 'withdraws'. He continued to pound until Seto finally answered the door.

'_Nothing but you' _

Katsuya could see the red eyes, the dark circles, the dazed look, and the smell of marijuana entered his nose. He knew what Seto had done while he was gone. But he didn't care; he just pushed himself onto his boyfriend and held him tightly.

'_I'm addicted to you'_

Jou and Kaiba sat on the bed. "I know you're high right now," Jou spoke softly.

Kaiba just looked at him and frowned.

"It's okay, though. Really, it is. I just wanted to be here."

"I only did it because you ran away from me, and I thought you wouldn't come back."

"I don't need any reasons. You don't have to tell me anything like that," Jou replied as he gave Seto a sweet smile. "But don't think of this as a ticket out. You still have to quit if you want me to stay with you."

"Why did you come back?"

"You're not the only addict in this relationship," Jounouchi answered shyly.

"What do you mean, pup?"

"I mean that… I'm addicted to you. I can't give you up. No matter what you do, I can't. And so… If I can't let you go, then I just need to be more stern with you. I have to help you to clean up. Because…"

'_It's like I can't think _

_Without you interrupting me _

_In my thoughts, in my dreams _

_You've taken over me'_

"Because why, puppy?" Seto asked as he ran his hand up and down Jou's back.

'_It's like I'm not me _

_It's like I'm not me'_

"Because I love you."

'_I'm hooked on you'_

It took all the power in Jou's body not to cry. He bit his lower lip as he stared into Seto's icy eyes. He just wanted to be with Kaiba. He would do anything under the sun to make that happen. If he had to deal with hardships such as breaking his lover's of such habits, he would do it just to be with him.

Seto leaned over and opened the drawer of his nightstand. "I need a cigarette before we do what I am planning…"

Jou watched his boyfriend with a careful eye. "Okay…"

Seto pulled out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. He pulled one out, placed it between his dry lips, and lit it. He looked over to Jou who was keeping a very close eye on him. Seto took a long drag and sighed as he exhaled.

"You know, you don't have to just watch. You can have one I you want."

"Are you going to quit smoking cigarettes, too?" Jou asked as he took a cigarette from the pack.

"Only if you do," Seto responded as he flicked his zippo and held the flame out to Katsuya. Jou leaned in, lit the cigarette, and leaned back as he watched Seto flip the lighter closed.

"No, you don't have to quit," Jou informed before he took a drag.

'_I need a fix_

_I can't take it _

_Just one more hit _

_I promise I can deal with it'_

The two sat there, smoking in silence. Jou's mind was quite the opposite of that silence, however. He watched Seto and all he could think about was how much he wanted to feel him inside of him again. He was craving that closeness. He wanted to speak up about it, but was too skittish.

"Come with me," Seto said through the cigarette resting in his mouth. He leaned back over to the drawer, pulled out a bag, then got up off the bed. He looked over to Jou as a sign to follow.

The blonde got up and followed Seto, being led to the bathroom. Jou cocked his head to the side, wondering what his lover was planning.

Seto held up the baggie to Jou. "My stash," he explained. He opened up the bag, held it above the toilet, the turned it upside down. Jou watched as the green buds fell into the water.

'_I'll handle it, quit it _

_Just one more time, then that's it _

_Just a little bit more to get me through this'_

Jou lost his mind at that point. Seto was trying to show him that he could be trusted, but Jounouchi knew otherwise. It didn't matter to him right now. He threw his cigarette into the toilet, then grabbed Seto's from his mouth and tossed it in there as well. He flushed the toilet, and then pushed Seto back to the bed, shoving him onto the mattress.

'_It's like I can't breathe _

_It's like I can't see anything _

_Nothing but you'_

The blonde hurriedly rid both of them of their clothes. Each had an erection from Jou's sudden move of demand and dominance.

"Jou?"

'_I'm addicted to you'_

Without the proper preparation, Jou simply took control of the situation. He straddled Seto, grabbing his wrists and holding them down tight onto the bed. He then positioned himself, and without warning, slammed himself upon Seto's erection. He screamed in pain, having never had sex without preparation. It didn't matter to him at the moment.

He just let the moment take him over, and rode Seto with passion in his eyes.

'_It's like I can't think _

_Without you interrupting me _

_In my thoughts, in my dreams'_

Seto began to moan in pleasure, not expecting the act of his puppy. He didn't mind though, a little 'midnight snack' was never something to complain about. He didn't want to be the only one in this though, so as Katsuya slid himself up and down Seto's member, the brunette took hold of Jou's and began to stroke.

Both boys reached their climax in unison, Jou lifting himself up off of Seto. He then promptly crashed onto the bed next to his lover.

'_You've taken over me'_

Katsuya felt the familiar feeling of Seto's arm wrapping around him. He sighed. 'Here I go. Giving into a druggie. I was so firm on my zero tolerance. What has this boy done to me?'

'_It's like I'm not me _

_It's like I'm not me'_

(TBC)

Wow. So yeah, it took me a while to get motivated to write that. I had no idea what I should do with it so I procrastinated because I was dreading it. But I think it turned out okay. Yay me.

I hope you enjoyed it!

Song: Addicted by Kelly Clarkson

See you next chapter and please review!


	3. An Apology

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh nor do I own the majesty that is Floater, the band who DOES own the song. If you don't know Floater, they are a local band here in Oregon. BomberBrat (for you sasodei fans who know her work, maybe her stamp of approval is enough to get you interested if my stamp of approval isn't quite enough) and I have gone to a couple shows together . They are gods. Go to the Dizzler site right now and listen to them. Sorry for a really long disclaimer. I'm rambling because I'm trying to think of all I'm doing for this chapter.

Author's Note: I finally got depressed enough to feel like writing again so I started a one shot for my sasodei fics and someone asked me to update this story so here I am. Back in the game for the upteenth time. I really feel like I want to write but it's hard to get away from World of Warcraft and Plants vs. Zombies… Still trying to get that damn Envoy gun but I finally got a better bow from Ulduar… Erm.. Nerd talk, sorry… Now go read about your gay addicts. You know you love them. Admit it and review!

Chapter 03 An Apology

Seto was feeling rather exhilarated as he decided to walk to school this morning rather than drive. Nothing could bring him down today. Everything with Katsuya was perfect and the blonde was currently out of town visiting a sick family member nobody actually cared about. The only reason Katsuya actually went was to get out of class.

The young CEO was glad to have a little time away from Jou. He knew the two were spending far too much time with one another and they needed to get their heads clear. Seto found it hard to be around his pup constantly while being sober due to the fact that his littler star was so much brighter. When he was on something he could look past all the ugliness in the world. He didn't have to see Jou's sad eyes looking up at him. He saw orbs honey staring into him, asking him to bend to their will. When he looked into those eyes he felt washed over by pure light. He felt complete.

'_So strip away all of my shadows  
And light me up brighter than the sun'_

Seto shook his head. It was time for him to get thoughts like that out of his head. He knew how selfish he was acting but he didn't want to believe it. He knew Jou was hurting inside but he wanted to look past it. All he wanted was for his puppy to be happy like he was.

A light sigh escaped from Seto's cracked lips. The hot air against the slightly peeled lips stung. He placed his fingers gently to his lips, furrowing his brow. The dirty finger which he was now sliding across his bottom lip sent more stinging pain. Seto quickly pulled his hand away and sighed once more. His hand found its way to his pocket and he dug out a small container of lip balm. After applying some of the cool gel to his lips he continued through the park towards school.

As Seto took a seat he looked amongst his classmates. He looked past the few smiles he was getting and looked up to the front of the room. There stood Nakamura-Sensei with a look of dread upon her face. He didn't envy her and her tedious life existing of nothing but bratty kids and an endless job which is only needed to feel secure and miserable. Seto paused and realized his live wasn't much to envy either. Sure things seemed glamorous with his corporation, wealth and fame but the boy would wager he was just as alone and miserable as Nakamura-Sensei.

'_My hands are strong from building these gallows  
Many will be left hanging before my time here is done'_

Seto looked away from the aura of depression and found himself staring at an empty desk. He wondered what Jou was doing right now. He could imagine the blonde in the hospital room with his cousin, fast alseep in the corner on a chair. He chuckled slightly to the thought. He missed his puppy more than he thought he could. Three whole days without him felt more like three months. Seto muttered a curse to love under his breath while hastily breaking his stare from Katsuya's desk.

The rest of the day seemed like a complete blur to Seto. He began to instigate himself as to why every little insignificant detail reached out to him so deeply while everything else in the world were like the little things he would usually look over. His world felt topsy turvy and he was upset that he found himself somewhat enjoying it.

As the brunette strolled through the park he began wishing he didn't walk to school this morning. A frustrated grunt came from his throat as he pushed himself past a family walking slowly in front of him. He quickened his pace and his feet hit the ground hard. The clacking from his shoes entered his head as a steady and soothing beat. He began to count each clack he heard. When he found himself at his door step his counting stopped at 418. He chuckled to himself while thinking, 'it's almost time'.

Out of curiosity he checked his watch to see the time. He bit his lower lip and cringed at the pain, having forgotten how dry and cracked they were. Seto sighed. He'd been sober for a week now and didn't want to spoil anything. It didn't matter that Katsuya wasn't there he had to remain true to his word.

Seto's pale hand reached out for the doorknob but just before he could grasp it the door swung open. Seto swallowed hard and slowly looked up to see an agitated Bakura. "H-hello," came the nervous boy's greeting.

"Hello," Bakura replied calmly as he stepped to the side and motioned with his arm for Seto to enter. The boy did as invited and slowly walked into his home.

"What- what are you doing here?" Kaiba asked cautiously as he removed his shoes. He watched Bakura from the corner of his eyes and felt his heart race when he saw the mischievous grin growing on his face.

"Just came around to see an old friend. Should I not have come?" He asked in a snider manner. "I haven't seen you in quite a while, you had me… what's the word I'm looking for?"

"Broke?" Seto asked as he rudely pushed into Bakura, making his way to the kitchen. Bakura closely followed, the grin not leaving.

"I was thinking more… Bored," came the yami's tantalizing reply. Seto walked to the fridge and sighed. He knew what Bakura was implying and it was hard to refuse.

'_Before my time is done  
Before my time is done'_

Seto watched as smoke rushed towards him and embraced his body before dissipating. He shyly looked to Bakura as the other boy quickly pressed his lips back to the clay pipe to take another hit. Bakura noticed the hungry eyes Seto laid upon him and removed the pipe from his lips. He watched as Seto's fingers began to play with each other, tangling up and falling back apart. He blew out his hit and stared as Seto's breath hitched and he sat completely still.

"You want?" Bakura asked as he held out the pipe to Seto. He could see the twisting in the boy's mind. Seto looked at the pipe with scared eyes. "It's just pot. It's not like some of the shit you've done with me. Do you remember last summer out at the lake with-"

"Stop," Seto demanded in a calm voice. He took the pipe and without question pressed his lips to the pipe watched as the dim glow of the still burning bowl became fierce. He listened to the slight crackle of the leaves burning and felt an odd sense of satisfaction. He released the carb and slowly brought the pipe away from his mouth. His face hid behind messy hair and all Bakura could see was a cloud of smoke slowly beginning to form around Seto's body as he exhaled.

Seto brought his head up and watched the smoke dance around the room. He could almost swear he saw Jounouchi's face hiding in the smoke.

_'Well I could show you no merciful side again'_

"Feel better?" Bakura asked as he took the pipe back from Seto. "I don't see why you let that kid control your life."

Seto sat in silence as he thought about what Bakura said. He knew that Jou wasn't controlling him; he was just trying to protect that which he holds dear. Seto knew about the pain Jou faced with his father and he knew that what he was doing to the blonde was unacceptable. "He's not controlling me," Seto finally said to break the silence.

"Oh really now?" Bakura scoffed. "Not the way I see it."

"I make the choice to quit. I do it for him to make him happy."

Nothing was heard but a gentle whimper. Seto and Bakura looked to each other, confused. Their locked eyes were broken from the bedroom door creaking open. "Well what a good job you're doing," Jou spoke as he pushed the door open.

"Ka- What are you doing back?" Seto asked not even attempting to hide any of the paraphernalia lying around.

"I came back early, obviously. How's it going? Having fun?" Katsuya walked up to the bed and looked down at the objects on the bed. "Needles?"

'_I could just hold you, wouldn't that be nice?'_

Seto looked up at the anguish on his lover's face. He could feel Jou's heart cracking. "Katsuya…"

"He only took one hit. I made him do it," Bakura informed as he began to clean up the bed and put things away.

"That's not what matters, Bakura. I'm not going to blame you. He made the choice," Jou said as he glared to Seto.

Those words rung in Seto's mind. Somehow he just knew that would come back to bite him in the ass.

'_One thing I know by now is that in the end  
You can never swim in the same river twice'_

"I don't know why I even try," Jou said as tears began to form in his eyes. "You were doing so well. But the second I leave town you're doing this shit again. Do you really hate yourself that much? Do you really need to sit here and not exist within actual reality just to feel justified to live?"

Seto looked up at Jou and frowned. He wasn't sure what to think about what he had been asked. "I don't know."

"Of course you don't," Jou said and his eyebrows drew down.

'_Trying, you're wasting your time'_

Seto could feel his eyes becoming damp and looked away from Katsuya. He really wished he didn't, because at that moment the blonde turned and left. Seto didn't say anything, just reached his hand out.

He felt three things drop into his palm and he lightly clenched so he wouldn't drop them. He brought his hand near his face and looked down. He looked at a small gel tab with a glint in his eyes. He carefully picked it up with his other hand and popped it in his mouth. He waited for a few moments and cleared his throat. He looked down to the pipe and lighter still resting in his hand. He took a hit and cringed as he passed the pipe to Bakura.

'_And I don't know why god made me this way  
(And I'm so sorry)'_

Two hours later Seto and Bakura were lying out in the grass. Bakura was giggling as he played around with a ladybug he found on a rock. Seto watched him and smiled. It reminded him of Jou and his playful innocence. He felt like a hole was slowly growing in the back of his brain. He could feel his essence draining out of him like a water cooler. He felt the bubbling and swooshing running through his brain only to funnel out and splatter to the ground.

"I need tape," Seto said as he stood up.

"Huh? For what?" Bakura laughed.

"I'm draining from this hole. Soon I'll just be deflated skin decomposing in the grass. That doesn't sound like an encounter I would enjoy so if I tape over the hole I can't escape from myself," he explained while he placed his hand over the back of his head.

"If you don't want to escape yourself then be alive," Bakura said as he took the ladybug he was playing with in his hand. "Stop running away from your life." He tightly clenched his fist and made a satisfied face as he could feel the bug popping in his hand.

"You got some sort of sick sexual pleasure out of that," Seto said as he looked to the hand with a slaughtered lady bug in it.

"So what if I did? At least I can accept myself."

"You do the same as I do," Seto defended.

"No. I do this for fun. You do it to hide."

_'I don't know how much more I can take  
(And I'm so sorry)'_

"Shut up," Seto growled as he grabbed a crushed pack of cigarettes from his pocket. He grabbed one and light it and angrily took a drag.

"You're only mad because you know that I'm right. You know those things will kill you right?" Seto blinked a couple of times as he gave Bakura a dumfounded look. "I know, I know such a cliché thing to say but I felt like I just had to. It's pretty ironic anyways."

"Don't talk to me about irony," Seto sighed. He watched the paper slowly burning itself on his cigarette. He watched the cherry glowing and seemed to get lost in it.

'_You know it's always my mistake  
(And I'm so sorry)  
And I'll be sorry when I break you'_

"Thinking about Jounouchi?" Bakura asked as he ran his fingers through the blades of grass. Seto had to think about that question for a while. He wasn't really sure if he was thinking about Jou in particular; everything just made him think of the boy.

"In a way, I suppose." Seto slowly finished his cigarette and crushed it down into the grass when he was done. "Let's not worry about that. Let's try to have some fun."

Bakura instantly perked up and looked to Seto with an excited smile. "Can do."

_'So take high, fly me over the mountains  
Cry of the raven and the scream of the dove  
And I'll be gone on the wings of the eagles'_

Seto had no idea how long had passed since Jou left. He wasn't sure if it was hours or days, all he knew was Bakura was there. The two had made their way to the bedroom and laid side by side on the bed. "So how do you feel?" Bakura asked.

"Like my fingers are sewn to his hair." Seto looked down and could see the blonde tresses winding up his fingers. It felt warm and safe.

"Well, that's a little creepy," Bakura laughed. He scooted closer to Seto and rested his head down on the other boy's shoulder. "If you love him so much why are you right here with me?"

"Because god can only imagine how much he hates me right now."

'_High road behind me, left everything that I loved  
All of the things I loved'_

Jounouchi stared down at his homework, tapping his pencil against the desk. He sighed as he tried his best to concentrate but the thoughts of how Seto betrayed him were haunting. He wished he could forgive but he knew it would only bring to disappointment. Funny how those things didn't matter when they were apart. Katsuya felt like he was losing his mind. The ideal of love was so controlling and suffocating. He couldn't understand why he would dare be with someone who made him unhappy.

The boy ruffled his hair in frustration and threw his pencil to the desk. He wondered if he was just comfortable and familiar with Seto. He questioned if the saying 'out of sight, out of mind' was really all it was cracked up to be. He knew he could find the way to get over Seto, but he knew it wasn't what he wanted. Why? Why did love have to be a blender of shit? Sure, sprinkle some rose petals on the top and people might think it's pretty at first but the disgust will reach everyone soon enough.

'_Oh I don't know why god made me this way  
(And I'm so sorry)'_

Jou looked back down to his homework and twitched slightly. "Why did I not do this when I was bored and half asleep in the hospital? Ugh, it's due tomorrow…" The blonde grabbed his pencil and hung his head over the paper. "Okay, time to get Seto out of my head and focus for once. He's not here to distract me, so I shouldn't be so damn sidetracked."

Jou slowly began to make a few scribbles on the paper as he read the first question for the sixteenth time. How was he supposed to write five paragraphs concerning the The Civil War and The Reconstruction when all he could think about was Seto standing behind him gently massaging his shoulders?

'_I don't know how much more I can take  
(And I'm so sorry)'_

"Okay, third time's a charm," Jou told himself as once again he attempted to work. Just as he was about to start writing the doorbell rang. Jou thanked any god that was looking down at him and ran to get the door, knocking his chair over in the process.

'_You know it's always my mistake  
(And I'm so sorry)'_

Seto stood at Jou's door, shaking. He just rung the doorbell and could feel fear eating his heart. He asked himself why he was here. He knew Jou would just slam the door in his face.

As the door open Seto's eyes immediately locked to Jou's. He could see the anguish but what made him happy was he could also see the love and lust. Seto took a small step forward and reached his hand out to touch Katsuya's face. He was relieved when the blonde didn't pull away.

"Your lips… Do you need lip balm?" Jou asked as he reached out and placed a couple fingers just below Seto's lower lip.

Seto shook his head. "I have some, thank you. Are you busy?"

"Just trying to do some homework. Not going so well, I just can't concentrate at all," Jou sighed.

"I know what you mean."

The two then stood in silence. Jou's dim eyes fell and his gaze was redirected to the vomit colored welcome mat Seto stood on. "You're not wearing shoes," Jou commented.

"Neither are you,' Seto replied, wiggling his toes.

"I'm inside," Jou said as he gave a tiny smile.

Seto's eyes light up to the sight of his puppy smiling. A large grin appeared on his face and he cautiously went in for a kiss. Jou didn't reject him, but he made no movements. Seto pulled away feeling dejected. Jou looked away and took a step back. Seto removed his hand from the warm cheek and sighed.

'_And I'll be sorry when I see that you're gone_

_Gone away  
Like a god gone astray'_

The two boys looked into each other's eyes and Seto could read Jou's face. He frowned and watched as Jou's eye swelled with tears.

_'Not a word  
will be spoken'_

Katsuya sniffled and wiped his face against his sleeve. He looked up to Seto with a quivering lip. Seto cringed and hastily took a hold of Jou and pulled him into his chest. As he was about to wrap his arm around the boy, he put his palms up to Seto's chest and pushed away. Seto looked down to the couple of tears that soaked into his shirt and looked back up to Jou, biting his lower lip hard. He grunted to the pain and watched as Katsuya had tears cascading down his face.

'_Of how it broke me when I saw you broken'_

Seto began to cry with his lover, letting go of his lip to cough a little. He fell to his knees and looked up to the blonde, holding onto his pants to keep himself up.

'_Broken'_

Jou pulled his pants from Seto's grip and held out a hand. Seto took the offer and was helped back to his feet. Jou leaned in and kissed Seto. He could feel their tears mixing together and rubbing against one another's cheeks. He would never forget that feeling.

'_Broken'_

Jounouchi pulled away from the somber kiss and looked at Seto a last time before slowly closing the door.

'_When I broke you'_

(TBC)

Hah. I did it. I finally did it. Please review, I'll give you nakie men.

Song: An Apology by Floater


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